More Than Married: Building A Spiritual Foundation

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Building A Spiritual Foundation

Building a Spiritual Foundation

Living in Florida you see billboards all over the place as your driving down the streets and highways. One day as I was driving I saw a billboard that made me think. How many married couples would never say the “D” word “Divorce”. Or how many marriages could be restored if we actually acted on the question on this billboard.

The billboard read, “You invited me to your wedding. How about inviting me into your marriage”?

Have you ever taken this invitation literally? The best marriages consist of three. The husband, the wife, and God. With God at the head leading, guiding, and counseling the marriage. Without God in your marriage you are guaranteeing that your marriage will not achieve the intimacy, oneness and happiness that God designed for your marriage.

Are both of you allowing Christ to control your entire lives? Are you both part of the family of God? Are you both allowing the Holy Spirit to guide and empower your lives?

Did you know that Gods plan is that you both (husband and wife) know Him personally? That each of you has a personal relationship with Him (God). He wants you both to become part of His family before you try to build your own family. This is something that Helene and I didn’t do, and our marriage suffered because of it. Not until we both accepted Jesus as our Savior and Lord over our lives did our marriage start to change for the better. You cannot truly love one another until you have experienced the love of God.

One way to know if you are letting God be the Lord of your life is by asking yourself, If God was no longer in my life tomorrow would it be any different? Would you feel lost, confused, cut off from your source of guidance, wisdom, and power. Would you feel empty? If you realize that your actions, thoughts and words wouldn’t be different without Jesus absent in your life then you need to realize that Christ is not the Lord of your life.

If you have not asked Jesus to be the Lord of your life then I encourage you to ask him to take control over every area of your life. Big or small. When you do this, really give Him all of the control. This may be very hard for some of you. Especially if you are like me and you are a very independent person. When I first got saved I would go to Jesus only when I needed him to fix a problem that I couldn’t fix. Then when he would fix the problem I would put him right back on the shelf until I needed him again. Or I would say I gave it over to God as I tried to work it out myself and usually mess it up even more. Which then it seemed that it took even longer for God to take care of the problem.

It was hard for me to hand control over to God because, I was afraid of not being in control! Once I really learned what it meant to give God control and yield everything over to Him and not worry. I learned where I needed to go for strength and peace in my life with out worries.

Is the Holy Spirit directing your marriage? If you want a marriage where the two of you grow spiritually then yielding to the Holy Spirit is vital. The Holy Spirit helps us to control our selfishness, our temper, impatience, and our tongues. Even though we may slip up and fail sometimes. As we yield to the Will of God the fruits of the Spirit help us grow closer to our spouse. (Fruits of the Spirits: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, And Self Control)

If you have never asked God to fill you with the Holy Spirit here is how:

1. Confess your sins. Tell God everything, repent and receive forgiveness and cleansing.

2. Surrender your will to God. Allow Him to be Master of everything in your life.

3. Ask him to fill you with the Holy Spirit.

4. Then continue to walk with God daily, read His word, meditate on it, and confess your sins to him daily and yield to His Will daily.

Go back and look at the Fruits of the Spirits and asked your spouse, Do we see these Fruits in our marriage? A lot, Some, or A little. See what areas need to improve and act on it.

Remember “As married partners are filled with the Spirit and submit to each other out of reverence to Christ, true oneness is achieved”.

Parts of this teaching was taken from Starting Your Marriage Right by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

6 comments:

Stacie WebsterJanuary 3, 2010 at 2:54 PM
Awesome begining of the Blog ... I pray that God continues to use you both mightly for His kingdom.
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DaciaJanuary 5, 2010 at 10:06 AM
Yaaaaaay!!! Hello Dondi and Helene!!! You guys are so awesome! Thank you for giving us a place to go where we can get even more filled with God! (MORE THAN MARRIED) !! :0) You guys are such a Blessing in so many lives and I know that God has great plans for you!!! Thank you for always being there for us toooo!!! I love you guys!!!!
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More Than MarriedJanuary 5, 2010 at 10:40 AM
Thank you all for your comments. Please keep them coming
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DaciaJanuary 5, 2010 at 10:51 AM
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alexacpvnJanuary 5, 2010 at 4:43 PM
Thank you so much for being there for us. 2009 wouldn't have been the same without your help. We matured so much spiritually and I wanted to thank you for your prayers and for being an example to us. We love you, and I love your blog, it's really speaking to me.
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UnknownJanuary 11, 2010 at 11:11 PM
Very good guys! Great beginning :)
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About Us

We met in 1988 while we were both in high school but it was not until a year later at a mutual friends birthday party did Dondi sweep me off my feet. For the first of many times since then.

After dating all through high school and sharing all the typical teenage stuff like, sitting in the bleachers watching Dondi play football every Friday night, staying on the phone all night until we fall asleep because neither one of us want to hang up first and then of course the Senior Prom did we moved to Florida to attend college. Once we both finished school we married in 1992.

As a result of both our immaturity and lack of knowledge and most important lack of God as soon as the pressures of life fell on us, we fell apart. Our marriage was going downhill fast! We had our own views and ideas and desires and neither one of us were willing to put the other one first. The problem was we were both raised with completely different views on love life and marriage. We were a very “seperated “ couple.

We didn’t know much, but the one thing we did know was that we loved each other. Even when we did not always like each other. (Which was quite often)

After a rough 3 years we had only 2 options, fix it or divorce. The only problem was were had no clue where to start. Even while we weren’t seeking God he had a plan.

Dondi was on his way from work and while passing a church he remembered his parents visited when they were in town one year he noticed a sign for an Easter play. He was drawn to attend. After going to one showing alone he came home a told me about the play and asked me to go back with him.

At this point we were hardly speaking and when we did it seemed to turn into a fight. I agreed to go but really had no idea what I was in for.

Well, the play was beautiful and the story of Easter was beautiful, but the most beautiful thing happened when the Pastor gave an altar call. That evening we not only gave ourselves to the Lord, we gave ourselves back to one another.

Shortly after that we got involved in a Sunday school for couples and made the “choice” to not just here what was being taught but actually try to apply it to our lives and marriage. We began to realize that neither one of us had seen the best examples on love, relationships and life. We had to learn what a Godly marriage was. We had to learn what it was to be a Godly man and Godly women.

That began our long journey that we are still on. To live first for God and second for one another. We not only wanted to have a Godly marriage we wanted to be “ More Than Married”

Now here we are over 20 years from our original beginning we can honestly say not only were we born again in 1995 our marriage was born again. Has it been easy? NO! We still messed up and still do. Has it gotten easier? Absolutely! We are in unity now. We overcome together with God as our guide. We purposed in our hearts to love each other over ourselves. And we both have said we would go through it all over again to get to where we are now. Three wonderful boys 22,12,10, a beautiful daughter- in -law who is all serving God and our first grandbaby on the way.

Through all we have gone through and learned God has given us a heart and passion to help others overcome and have the marriage God intends His children to have. We currently teach a marriage Sunday school class at our home church and hold a bi weekly discipleship group in our home.

Dondi and I are both leaders in the men and women’s ministries in our home church. We love all that we are involved in. We feel honored that God has allowed us to reach and work with so many couples over the past 7 years. We have grown and learned in the process.

Recently God has put another call in our hearts. This blog is what we feel will be the start of it. Our goal is to reach other couples all across the globe. Couples we may never meet here on earth. Couples that may not be plugged in at their church or even better, couples that may not even go to church.

Only the Lord knows and that is who is leading our ministry and us!

None of us are born knowing how to be a Godly spouse. But if we make a “choice” to seek God and Honor the marriage covenant. Our marriages can be the light to the darkness of marriages in the world. You can be “More Than Married”.