Ever notice how people who are married are not as committed to one another as they were back when our Grandparents were married. You rarely see couples married 20 plus years. In my opinion it's like that because the world makes it to easy to give up on marriage. We have become a society that is very self centered and selfish. If our marriage takes a turn for the worst it is easier to give up and go your separate way then to work it out. How do you expect to build your marriage if you don't put the time in to deal with heartaches. When you go through hard times with your spouse and you work them out; your marriage gets stronger and you build such a stronger bond between each other that the next time you and your spouse hit another rocky road you can look at each other and say to each other We can and we will get through this." We need to start being there for our spouse, put their needs before ours, and above all keep Christ center in your lives If every couple would commit to do this, I believe the divorce rate in this country would be lower.
Husbands and wives just need to stay committed and seriously work at learning to understand one another. Then as they grow together through the years, they will eventually start to think the same and see things from the same perspective.
When this level of unity is finally achieved, it brings power into the marriage. This is exactly what Peter was talking about in 1 Peter 3:8 "Finally, be ye all of one mind". It is the idea of two people who think the same, feel the same, and view things in life the same way. They are similar in their thinking, reasoning and conclusions.
Commitment is required in order for two people to become of one mind. These two people must want to understand each other, want to see things the same way, want to think the same way and want to have the same vision, goal and purpose in life.
My wife and I always try to understand each other. And if we don't understand each other then we try our best to understand each other by talking it out. And truthfully most of the time we do see eye to eye but when we don’t or love for each other and respect for each other we can agree to disagree and that's OK.
Misunderstanding through miscommunication is the way you leave a door open to cause division between you and your spouse. If you and your spouse make the commitment to keep the door shut to miscommunication, You will se unity and strength grow and mature in your relationship. I like what Peter says after "Be of one mind" He says that "husbands and wives are to have compassion for one another". If you noticed he put this right after be of one mind because he was married and he knew how hard it was sometimes to understand our spouses and at times it gets very frustrating. But instead of giving into those feelings of exasperation, we are to put aside our frustration and let compassion start to operate.
Remember what I said before, sometimes we may not understand a single thing our spouses are trying to say. Other times you may express yourself over and over again and your spouse still won’t get it. Instead of getting yourself all frustrated choose to let your compassion flow.
When Helene would try to make a point where we weren't seeing eye to eye, she would rephrase the question numerous times. It would drive me crazy. Like I didn't understand her the first time. But what she was trying to do was make me understand it from her point of view. One day I finally told her how much it drove me crazy, and I wasn't a child and she didn't have to keep repeating herself in a different way to try to make me see things her way. We had a long talk about it, and now it's not an issue with us. Sometimes we just need to sit down when we are calm with our spouse and let them know how we feel when they do or say certain things that drive us crazy.
You might be wondering what I meant when I said the word compassion. What I mean is when two people are sharing their feelings and emotions with each other. When you share an experience with your spouse and you understand what they are going through. To have sympathy, or be empathetic, kind, considerate, caring and full of mercy. Rather than rush into judgment and get upset or mad at our spouse because we don't understand what they are doing or saying, we need to reach out to them and try to understand.
When an opportunity comes up that would usually cause an argument between you and your spouse reach out to them instead and ask how you can help them. And when you see them struggling with something that is not the time to start preaching, nagging or judging them. Instead have compassion and be sympathetic to them and ask if there is anything you can do to help.
What are you doing to become one minded with you spouse? Do you talk at length with each other?
Do you pray and worship together? Do you read the Bible together? Do you devote time with one another away from distractions like a cell phone or crying children that want you attention? Becoming of one mind takes focus and concentration. It doesn't happen by accident. If you and your spouse are going to achieve this blessed state God wants you to have, You must make a choice to do it and act on it!
