More Than Married: The Importance of Prayer In Your Marriage

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Importance of Prayer In Your Marriage

The Importance of Prayer In your Marriage

Are you uncomfortable with praying with your spouse?

If I gave you a tool that would help you decrease your chances of divorce by 99% would you use it?

What if I told you we all have not just a tool but also, a powerful weapon that could help you build a hedge of protection around your marriages? Would you use it? This powerful weapon is PRAYER!

Praying with your spouse daily will build intimacy and unlock Gods power in your marriage. It shows that you both come together as a couple and depend on Jesus as Lord of your marriage and family. It builds a unity and a security those marriages of this world lack.

God intended marriage to be a spiritual relationship that consists of 3 man, woman, and God.

So doesn’t it make sense for God, the one who designed the marital relationship to want us to bring our trials, worries and must of all our praises to him on a regular daily basis?

You might say, “well, I already do that” but my question to you is, why not do it together?

Remember what Mathew 18:19-20 says

If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my father in heaven will do it for you. For where 2 or 3 gather together as my followers, I am among them. NLT.

Prayer can be the most intimate encounter between a husband and wife. We are not talking about physical intimacy. We are talking about spiritually and emotional intimacy. I can almost guarantee that if we work on increasing the spiritual and emotional intimacy the physical will increase beyond your expectations.

Prayer builds and strengthens your marriage.

When you pray with your spouse openly you are baring your soul in front of the person that knows your strengths, weaknesses and most important each other’s burdens. And that could be a pretty humbling and vulnerable moment for some of us.

That’s usually one of the reasons why most couples don’t want to pray with each other they are afraid of being vulnerable and transparent in front of their spouse and that’s sad. They are afraid of rejection or criticism. Something that should be natural between a husband, wife and God seems threatening and unnatural. Remember, God will not force himself on us. He is ready and willing to join us in every aspect of our lives. But, we have to invite him in.

Today I challenge to start a daily prayer habit to help strengthen your marriage. Starting a daily prayer habit starts with one person in the marriage taking the initiative. I recommend it be the husbands. Men since we are called to be the spiritual leader of the households it’s is up to us to stand up and take our place and lead our households and marriages the way God intended us to. We can’t pick and choose when we want to be a leader. We are to lead in every aspect of our household. There is nothing like starting it with prayer. I always hear my “wife won’t submit she won’t follow me”. Well maybe she doesn’t follow because she doesn’t see where you’re getting your guidance.

My wife always tells me that it is easy for her to submit and follow me because she knows I am looking up to receive guidance from God. That is when the wife knows she can put her Full faith and trust in us. Then usually they have no problem submitting. Remember one of the most important things a woman needs is security. A consistent relationship with the Lord is one of the best ways to make your wife feel secure.

Husbands your wife will respond to your initiating in prayer but you must begin by leading!

If you do this Lord will pour out incredible blessings from heaven on you. As you both humble yourselves before him.

Don’t worry about being long winded. Or if you think you don’t know how to pray.

Luke 18:13 prayer was just 7 words long. But it was powerful because it came straight from the heart.

O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner. NLT

God wants your prayers to be open and honest, from the heart. He wants you to tell him what’s really going on.

Praying together daily is the most important spiritual discipline needed in marriages today.

So ask yourselves “What do we need to do to increase joint prayer in your marriage”? Then act on it.

Parts of this teaching was taken from Starting Your Msarriage Off Right by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

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About Us

We met in 1988 while we were both in high school but it was not until a year later at a mutual friends birthday party did Dondi sweep me off my feet. For the first of many times since then.

After dating all through high school and sharing all the typical teenage stuff like, sitting in the bleachers watching Dondi play football every Friday night, staying on the phone all night until we fall asleep because neither one of us want to hang up first and then of course the Senior Prom did we moved to Florida to attend college. Once we both finished school we married in 1992.

As a result of both our immaturity and lack of knowledge and most important lack of God as soon as the pressures of life fell on us, we fell apart. Our marriage was going downhill fast! We had our own views and ideas and desires and neither one of us were willing to put the other one first. The problem was we were both raised with completely different views on love life and marriage. We were a very “seperated “ couple.

We didn’t know much, but the one thing we did know was that we loved each other. Even when we did not always like each other. (Which was quite often)

After a rough 3 years we had only 2 options, fix it or divorce. The only problem was were had no clue where to start. Even while we weren’t seeking God he had a plan.

Dondi was on his way from work and while passing a church he remembered his parents visited when they were in town one year he noticed a sign for an Easter play. He was drawn to attend. After going to one showing alone he came home a told me about the play and asked me to go back with him.

At this point we were hardly speaking and when we did it seemed to turn into a fight. I agreed to go but really had no idea what I was in for.

Well, the play was beautiful and the story of Easter was beautiful, but the most beautiful thing happened when the Pastor gave an altar call. That evening we not only gave ourselves to the Lord, we gave ourselves back to one another.

Shortly after that we got involved in a Sunday school for couples and made the “choice” to not just here what was being taught but actually try to apply it to our lives and marriage. We began to realize that neither one of us had seen the best examples on love, relationships and life. We had to learn what a Godly marriage was. We had to learn what it was to be a Godly man and Godly women.

That began our long journey that we are still on. To live first for God and second for one another. We not only wanted to have a Godly marriage we wanted to be “ More Than Married”

Now here we are over 20 years from our original beginning we can honestly say not only were we born again in 1995 our marriage was born again. Has it been easy? NO! We still messed up and still do. Has it gotten easier? Absolutely! We are in unity now. We overcome together with God as our guide. We purposed in our hearts to love each other over ourselves. And we both have said we would go through it all over again to get to where we are now. Three wonderful boys 22,12,10, a beautiful daughter- in -law who is all serving God and our first grandbaby on the way.

Through all we have gone through and learned God has given us a heart and passion to help others overcome and have the marriage God intends His children to have. We currently teach a marriage Sunday school class at our home church and hold a bi weekly discipleship group in our home.

Dondi and I are both leaders in the men and women’s ministries in our home church. We love all that we are involved in. We feel honored that God has allowed us to reach and work with so many couples over the past 7 years. We have grown and learned in the process.

Recently God has put another call in our hearts. This blog is what we feel will be the start of it. Our goal is to reach other couples all across the globe. Couples we may never meet here on earth. Couples that may not be plugged in at their church or even better, couples that may not even go to church.

Only the Lord knows and that is who is leading our ministry and us!

None of us are born knowing how to be a Godly spouse. But if we make a “choice” to seek God and Honor the marriage covenant. Our marriages can be the light to the darkness of marriages in the world. You can be “More Than Married”.