Reasons Marriages Fail
The home is the building block of the church and the nation. Satan is eagerly working to destroy the home. If he can damage the marriage, he can destroy much happiness of people in the world.
Adam and Eve were very happy living in the Garden of Eden. When Eve listened to Satan instead of God, she caused great unhappiness for herself and her husband. All sinful behavior is caused by rebellion against God when people are deceived by the devil.
No marriage fails except where one or both partners are involved in SIN. When sin is allowed to get out of control in a marriage, the marriage will fail to provide the happiness and companionship that God intended.
Here are some of the more destructive sins that can cause serious unhappiness in marriage.
LAZINESS is one of the most destructive of all sins. Too many people forget that laziness is a sin. Laziness is a major cause of evil.
James 4:17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.
Love requires commitment and work. Those who are lazy are rarely willing to use much energy. Lazy people think that love is just something that happens. Love to a lazy person is like an accident. Laziness is why there are so many husbands who do not love their wives and why there are so many wives who do not love their husbands. Marriage cannot to bring great happiness when people do not work hard enough to create love and build marital relationships. Many know what the problems are in their marriage, but they are not willing to work hard enough to restore the relationship. People come up with all kinds of excuses about why their marriages do not work. But, marriages fail only when couples are too lazy to do whatever is necessary to make their marital relationship work.
Another sin that can harm a marriage is ANGER. One episode of anger can damage a relationship of kindness and patience that took years to build. We are too quick to find excuses for our anger. Words spoken harshly or in anger can hurt long after the incident is over.
The Bible clearly condemns sinful anger. It is sinful when it is in excess. It is sinful when it is expressed in ways that are harmful. It is sinful when you try to justify it by saying, “ I was just angry”, I didn’t mean it!
Psalms 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret -- it only causes harm.
Anger brings out the worst in people. It can turn us into a different person in the How many good things have we missed in life because we committed some thoughtless deed while we were angry?
All anger is not sinful. The manner in which we express it determines whether it is sinful. We must learn to have control of our anger, rather than letting anger get control of us.
Ephesians 4:26 Be angry, and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.
Confess evil anger to God and the church and ask for forgiveness. Strive to become a meek man or woman who is controlled by the Holy Spirit. Pour out the anger and be filled with God's Spirit.
Remember that the person you want to become angry with was created in the image of God.
Another serious sin that can damage a marriage relationship is PRIDE. Pride is usually the sin that causes all other sins. Pride is thinking that you are better than someone else. It is wrong if you think that you are better than your spouse. Do not think that you are more important to God than your spouse. Jesus shed His blood to forgive your partner's sins just as He shed it to forgive your sins.
Matthew 7:12 Jesus said, "Treat others like you would like to be treated."
Self-respect is different from pride.
Self-respect causes us to take care of our families. They represent us and Christ. Husbands are to present their wives without spot or wrinkle. Wives are to be a crown to her husbands head. Self respect is when we esteems others better than ourselves. Especially our spouses.
Pride is when we seek out what we think we are deserved or owed. Pride is when we refuse to give to our spouse what they want or need because they aren’t giving what you want or need first. Remember, PRIDE COMES BEFORE THE FALL!
Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverse mouth I hate.
Another sin that causes much unhappiness in marriage is SELFISHNESS. If you wish to be miserable, think only about yourself. Think about what you want, what you like, what respect people ought to pay you -- and then you will be a very unhappy person and cause your spouse to be unhappy as well. If you have to keep asking or demanding respect you probrally aren’t acting or living in a way that makes respecting you a natural, easy thing to do. If you look and marriages where both spouses have a mutual, loving respect for one another, usually they are two people that serve one another and live for Christ first and each other second. There is a consistent dependability and a constant loyalty and trust that is shared between the two. Every spouse has to feel that the other has their back no matter what! Too many times we have see people want that feeling from their spouse but don’t give it. Or they have the mentality of “me first” That is selfishess.
Those who are selfish are being led and deceived by Satan. They die without really knowing the joys which they think they should have. I would bet the supposed enjoyment is the reason for their selfishness.
Selfishness causes a husband to lie to his spouse. It causes a wife to be concerned only for her own pleasure. It causes a husband to destroy his marriage by committing adultery. Such sin against God and against one's spouse usually causes lasting damage to a marriage.
Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
It is selfish when we expect everything to be done to please us. Some wives stop loving their husbands when they become disappointed with them. Some husbands stop loving their wives because they became disappointed with their wives. Disappointment can destroy a marriage unless we remember that no human is perfect. God expects us to do the very best that we can, but He knows that we will sometimes fail. I should not expect more from my spouse than God expects.
Reasons Marriages Succeed
All things can be accomplished by hard work. To have a truly happy marriage requires continually working to make it a good marriage.
God provides us with a guidebook, the Bible, to follow to help us live more successfully with our spouses. When the husband and wife are both determined to follow the laws of God, it is almost certain that they will find greater and greater joy with each other as they grow older together.
In happy marriages the couple gets to know one another by talking and LISTENING. Happily married people express appreciation for and give praise to one another. Happy people learn to live with one another with respect and kindness. Happy husbands and wives trust each other deeply. Couples who are happy enjoy spending time together. In happy marriages the husband and wife share responsibilities.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Marriages succeed by being committed to one another and to God. You must be determined to make your marriage a happy one no matter what happens. A husband who wants a happy wife will not even consider committing adultery. The Christian husband and wife should be too devoted to one another and the Lord to destroy the trust they have for each other by committing adultery. Couples also need to see the effects of a failed marriage on not only themselves but their children, family, friends and ministy
Couples who want to live happy lives together are committed to telling the truth to each other. A stable relationship can be built only by being honest.
The most successful way to make your marriage a happy one is to learn better how God wants you to live. We will find the greatest happiness only through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Let us concentrate on how Jesus lived. Let us try to live the same way He lived. Then we will truly be happy in our marriages and we can best make our spouses happy. Strengthen your relationship with God and it will be easier to strengthen your relationship with your husband or wife.
Love your wife more than you love any other person on earth. Love your husband more than you love any other person on earth. But love God more than you love your wife. Love God more than you love your husband. This is the proper way to have a marriage that will succeed.
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